Why Love Alone Isn’t Enough: Understanding Purpose in Relationships

Lalyn Cubillas
Feb 8
4 min read

Updated: Feb 8

“When purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable.” - Dr. Myles Munroe

This unforgettable statement applies to every area of life, especially relationships.

Many people enter relationships without understanding why they are in them. We date. We marry. And later, we find ourselves asking,“Is this really God’s will?”

Purpose is the guiding force behind everything God created. Marriage was designed with intention; not for entertainment, convenience, or personal gain.

Why Do Relationships Fail?

Why do so many relationships collapse? Why are some marriages in constant crisis?

The answer lies in confused roles and a lack of clarity about the purpose of the relationship.

Some enter relationships to feel validated. Others to fill emotional voids. Worse, some to satisfy personal desires.

Yet we rarely pause to ask the most important question:

“What is the purpose of this relationship?”

At times, I ask myself why couples meant to walk together for life still end up misunderstanding each other. I have witnessed marriages collapse, families break apart, and couples who stay together “for the kids” yet live emotionally separated, even sleeping in different rooms.

I have spoken with women, some younger than me, some older, who chose to leave their marriages and walk away from the vows they once made.

So where did the love go?

The commitment?

The promises?

Why does love so often fade, and worse, become toxic?

Because ...

we fail to establish the most essential foundation before committing to a relationship: PURPOSE.

Purpose is not an accessory.

It is not optional. It is the foundation of anything that truly lasts.

Love alone cannot sustain a relationship. Emotional connection alone cannot hold a marriage together.

Questions You Must Ask Before Commitment

Before you commit to a relationship, be certain you are not pursuing someone for the wrong reasons.

Ask yourself honestly:

Are you seeking a partner who shares your vision to fulfill God’s will on earth?
Are you ready to enter a relationship that advances the Kingdom of God?
Are you prepared to help your partner flourish in his or her personal calling?

If you cannot answer these questions, you may be entering a relationship that leads to confusion.

Purpose Before Dating and Commitment

Not planning to get married yet? Let’s talk about dating.

Living on an island taught me this truth:

A ship cannot reach its destination if it does not know where it is going.

The same is true for relationships.

If a relationship is not anchored in personal purpose, it will drift. Your partner cannot fulfill your purpose for you. They cannot give you identity.

Each individual must first discover their own purpose before connecting deeply with someone else.

If you do not know who you are and why you were created, you will never fully understand God’s intention for relationships. Relationships are not formed by chance, they are formed with purpose.

Purpose is not just a goal. It is the very reason for your existence. Finding your purpose brings alignment, peace, fulfillment, and direction, which are prerequisites before entering into a commitment.

Relationships Are a Calling.

Your life is not an experiment, and neither is a relationship. Life is a divine calling. So is a relationship.

It is heartbreaking to see teenagers whose dreams are cut short by premature responsibilities, and couples who unintentionally build broken homes. This was never God’s design.

Now, don’t misunderstand me, there is no perfect couple and no perfect family. But God established principles for relationships and marriage. Above opinions, culture, and worldly wisdom, God established His Word.

“Let us make man in Our image and likeness, and let them have dominion…” - Genesis 1:28

This dominion mandate is not merely a privilege, it is a calling. A calling to manage, steward, and bring order to God’s creation.

Entering a relationship is a calling to manage a home and establish order in your family before managing responsibilities outside of it.

Paul wrote that nothing should separate what God has joined together; not poverty, not trials, not hardship. You were designed to complement one another, carry each other’s burdens, love deeply, and help each other fulfill God-given destiny.

This is still possible this age. We can still correct what the world has been trying to change. We can still choose to obey God's standard in relationship, because nothing else can guarantee a happy, lasting and a relationship that leaves a legacy.